Not Shakespeare Sonnets

18
Are you like a day in summer?
In some ways you're really nicer
Some summer days are nasty
And summer doesn't last.
Hot summer sun can give you cancer
And sometimes it's cloudy
Even when it's nice
You sweat a lot--at least I do
Anyway, you're more like winter
I'm not saying you're frigid
But you act like it around me
And a kiss on the cheek doesn't count
You always keep your cool
Even though you make me hot

130
My girl-friend's eyes do not shine like the sun
And rubies are a better shade of red
Her breasts are not like pears though they are fun
She is no porn star, though she's good in bed
Her cheeks aren't roses; they're not even close
Her breath is fine if she remembers Certs
And when I manage to take off her clothes
I find just normal legs beneath her skirts
Her voice is nice but squeaky, and she's tall
She needs an operation on her nose
I guess I'll have to dump her after all